Dear Blind Santa, My name is Little Bobby and I have been a very good lil boy. For Christmas this year I would like a (real full sized) Abrams Tank with 1000 rounds of .50 cal ammunition and 40 rounds of 120 mm. I know this will not fit in your sleigh nor fit down the chimney so just park it in the backyard, also I would like an AR15 with 5000 rounds of 223. The Apocalypse is coming, and I want to be prepared. Sh**z about to get real. All my love, Little Bobby W. S.
Blind Santa's reply: Dear little Bobby W. S., Where do I start? Please understand your middle and last name I abbreviated because Blind Santa likes to protect the friends who write to me. Based on your Christmas wish list I recognize and appreciate your knowledge of the 2nd Amendment; the right to bare arms. You have obviously studied the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, Bill of Rights and you are showing knowledge when it comes to your inalienable rights. I do not know exactly how old you are but I hope Big Bobby and Uncle Eric are keeping a close eye on you during your firearms training (they may want to check the small print in the homeowner's association agreement). Remember: You don't want to shoot your eye out with a BB gun or anything of larger caliber. And never ever point your BB gun or anything else at your playmates and friends because you don't want to put their eye out either. And if you think they are not your friend, you need to talk with Big Bobby and Uncle Eric first because Blind Santa is not allowed to help you during this phase of your life. This is all on Big Bobby and Uncle Eric. I will say, this Little Bobby, you have good taste as shown by your Christmas wish list but you might want to reconsider going deer hunting, elk hunting, turkey hunting, or beaver hunting with a Abrams tank. Using an Abrams tank to go hunting with might help you hit the target but once you did, the deer or any of the other critters might be scattered in so many directions that it would be hard to identify the parts which you were able to find. And wherever you process the meat... well let's just say the term is overkill. Little Bobby I appreciate your enthusiasm and you are right; things are about to get real. Hopefully by praying frequently and with all your heart we will all be able to avoid a world of Armageddon. I also must tell you that Blind Santa is not an arms dealer. There are those in the business that you along with Big Bobby and Uncle Eric can go visit who are specialists and licensed to help a discriminating desirous youngster as yourself. Little Bobby, I do want you to know Blind Santa will not forget you and your letter; ever!! Keep reading your Constitution and learning your legal rights maybe even studying the aforementioned daily. But please know Blind Santa will stop by and leave you an age-appropriate game or two under your Christmas tree. Amen, give me a hallelujah and so it is. HO HO HO Merry Christmas, Blind Santa